Saturday, May 07, 2011
Thoughts and Prayers from the Dog
We spotted this wonderful piece on the blog, "Seens from the Backs of my Eyelids.
Dear God...Its the Dog
Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same story as down here?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard for someone to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What language do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, do we have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let's discuss the list of just some of the rules I must remember to be a good Dog. Do all Dogs go to heaven? Are some of these commandments more important than others?
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel.'
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I musn't suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
9. Shoes are not food.
Dear God...Its the Dog
Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same story as down here?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard for someone to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What language do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, do we have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let's discuss the list of just some of the rules I must remember to be a good Dog. Do all Dogs go to heaven? Are some of these commandments more important than others?
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel.'
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I musn't suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
9. Shoes are not food.
Labels: humor
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